For the vast majority of my flute-playing experience, I have had one teacher, who is a good player and is an amazingly sweet woman. Over the past couple of months, however, I've started to feel like my lessons aren't really doing much for me. Most of the time, we either play duets during my lessons or she gives me a piece and lets me loose on it without offering much suggestion about making it better. While I know that she's a better technical player than I am, and can still help me out in gaining technical proficiency, I feel like it's time for me to switch teachers. I have a prospective teacher, but I am wondering how to handle a transition gracefully...
Well.... this is a touchy situation. I would talk to your current tutor, and express your concerns that you feel that you arent improving under her guidance and are considering changing teachers. I would talk to her and see if she could be more demanding, and modify her teaching methods with you so you are more comfortable with the lesson quality.
Afterwards, give her some more time, and see if things change. If they dont, then politely explain that you feel that it is time for you to move in a different direction with your playing. A competant teacher would understand. While it would still be sad for her, a genuine teacher who teaches for the love of teaching [not for the money, because it typically doesnt pay that well] will want what is best for you. And, she would understand that it is beneficial for a player to learn from teachers with different 'schools' of thought. But, make sure that when you have your last lesson [if you do decide to change] you do something nice for her. Do something that shows you appreciate all of the work she has done, and that you are greatful for how much she has helped you. A card with a heartfelt note inside is typically appropriate, and is a nice keepsake for her to remember you by [particularly if there is a picture of you inside for her to keep]. But, regardless of what you do at the end of your last lesson, make sure that you show her that you appreciate everything that she has done, because otherwise it *could/would* appear to be rude.
Whatever you do, I hope it goes well for you! I understand the hardship of changing teachers. I switched teachers when I started college, and telling my teacher [at that time] that I had decided not to go to her school was difficult. But, she understood, and we stay in contact quite a lot throughout the school year. Actually, I take lessons with her over the summer [my flute professor encouraged me to take lessons with her over the summer]. That really pleased her, and now we get to see each other weekly.
As fluteguy18 said, this can be a very touvhy situation. One thing you should remember is that your teacher is ultimately running a business, no matter how much he/she loves it. Be sure to abide by the current studio's cancellation poilcies and procedures if they have been established. Explaining why you choose to leave should take some of the edge off.
Typically, my students leave to go on to college, but sometimes traveling distance and other factors lead to them going to another teacher. No matter what the situation, I hate to see them go, but always keep in mind the student and what is better for him/her. Hopefully, your teacher will be as understanding, if not, you may not be in the rigtht place after all and it is time to move on.
I hate to be less compassionate, but I do not believe this is such a touchy subject at all.
When it comes to playing an instrument, growth is a big deal. I believe that when it comes to instructors, everyone has their strengths, and weaknesses. If growth is what you are looking for, then you either have to cut your instructor loose, and venture off on your own, or find an instructor with the strengths you are looking for. This is not a personal thing that has anything to do with your relationship with your teacher.
Yes, your teacher may loose some income for a minute or two, but life is a cycle, and at sometime or another, you would have to move on anyway.
This just leaves room for the next student who comes along to fill your old spot.
One last thing. Never underestimate the level of understanding your teacher has. Remember your instructor has been down the same road you are traveling on, and had to make similar decisions.
I understand what you are saying Phineas.....yes...the teacher has been down the same road. Your personal growth shouldn't take presidence over considering someone elses feelings. It is always going to be a little bit of an ego hit knowing that your student has reached a point where they are no longer learning anything new from them. This is a personal relationship that they have been building from the time they started lessons with this person until now. You HAVE to be compassionate about the feelings of others. It's not a used car salesman you are letting go.....it's someone that you hopefully had great respect and admiration for. So please don't tell someone to treat it like a normal business relationship. It's really not about the money for the teacher (well it shouldn't be anyway). If we want to be treated with compassion we have to do the same for others.
I do see what you are saying Phineas, and agree to an extent. I just see it as being very beneficial to leave with compassion to the teacher so that you are on good terms when things end. That way, there wont be any tension between the two of them, and the teacher will still be a useful contact if needed. Theoretically, the more people you know [and have a good relationship with] in this business, the better off you are [given that you are a solid player].
Dealing with compassion is something that I absolutely want to do, especially in this case. I love my teacher, and that's why I'm finding the situation difficult...because I don't want to hurt her ego, or her income, or her feelings, but I do feel as though I need to move on.
Thanks for the suggestions...I have a lesson tomorrow, and I think that I'll have a talk with her, as fluteguy suggested, and see where things go from there.
Playing an instrument is a individual thing that happens to require some learning from others. Where do you draw the line? Even parents have to let their children go at some point in order for their child to lead a healthy productive life. If a flute teacher cannot understand this, then they are in the business for the wrong reason. After all, this is not about the teacher, it is all about the students right?
I did not mean to sound harsh, but the truth is the truth. Sometimes conditions need to change in order for us to grow. Any teacher should understand this, and not take the change personally.
Arion
Trust me, you will never forget your music mentors, and they will never forget you either. All you will do is become a good reflection of them as you move up in your playing skills. Be nice, but firm, move on, and NEVER forget where you came from and whome brought you to where you are today.
Fluteguy
I agree. I still get gigs from my past music educators. Heck, I do my share as a music eduactor. My goal was not to tell Arion to be mean, just to put long term goals into consideration. I am sorry if I gave the impression that compasion was not the right thing. Arion seems to realize this just from writing this message.
If this teacher truely cares, they will understand. If not, well that goes to show you the intent of TRUE intent of the teacher in the first place.
I have to agree. As I said before, it is still a business. I have a close bond with some of my former teachers, but when it was time to move on, I moved on. If I had not, it would have hindered me in many ways. From the perspective of those teachers, we are still close, and they were very understanding about my moving on. Had I stayed and made no further progress, it could have hurt their individual studios as well.
The same goes for my students. When it is time to go, I send them away with my blessings. It is a necessary step.
Keep intouch, buy them a gift, or do whatever makes you feel better about the move, but if it is necessary to your growth as a musician, go. Any teacher with a professional and sincere attitude will understand, and possibly encourage such a move.
Playing an instrument is a individual thing that happens to require some learning from others. Where do you draw the line? Even parents have to let their children go at some point in order for their child to lead a healthy productive life. If a flute teacher cannot understand this, then they are in the business for the wrong reason. After all, this is not about the teacher, it is all about the students right?
I did not mean to sound harsh, but the truth is the truth. Sometimes conditions need to change in order for us to grow. Any teacher should understand this, and not take the change personally.
Phineas
I agree....but it must be handled with delicacy....we aren't dealing with people we don't care for. We need to show them as much respect as possible!
