Please help me, I feel awful

[Becky]

I don`t know how to say my problem without
making it sound like a melodramatic diary entry, but i really don`t know where
else to go, I need to speak to someone. I have never ever composed anything
before, (I have been playing for two years, and am grade 5 ABRSM) And tonight I
tried it, I tried to compose a tiny little something, not intended to be a
masterpiece, but just a short little tune no chords or anything, just a little
something to introduce me to the compostion process. And I can now class myself
as officially crap at music, it was terrible, I didn`t manage to get anything at
all, just four notes thats it. FOUR NOTES, and even they sounded ridiculous
together, and now i`m so upset because its just confirmed everything that i`ve
been thinking all along, that i`m really not talented at music at all. I am
aware that it was my first try, but really, most people do better than i did. I
would really love to be a musician, nothing would make me happier but i really
do hate myself at the moment, because i can never be what i wanted to be, and
that hurts. It hurts so much, that all i want to do is sleep forever because
when i`m asleep i don`t know. Does anyone have any help that they can give me,
any advice on composing, any encouragement, pointers on where to start, what to
do. I would really appreciate it as nobody else seems to understand, thank you
xXxXx [:blackeye:]

[FluteDiddy]

Don't get your knickers in a knot You
have achieved level 5 in two years that is fair progress. Not all players are
destined to be good composers and some composers only do well when inspiration
strikes. Great authors and composers get blocked. Keep your nose to the grind
stone and don't fear failure, rejoice in it. For each failure brings you closer
to success at least that is how Edison felt. Had he give up after his first few
dozen attempts we would be typing on our computers by candle light

[AG950Flute]

think of it like this. people don't learn
to walk right away. children start off by taking a step and falling down, taking
two steps falling down. can you imagine if children were as hard on themselves
as us young adults and adults can be? they would NEVER learn to walk. you're
just beginning. you've taken your first step, and you've fallen. don't give
up. try again, and fall again. i had teachers that would encourage me to just
compose a little melody every now and then, and i hated doing it. after years of
learning more about music, it's become a little easier. try composing a four
measure melody and at the end of four measures make the phrase go up, (try
ending on the 5th scale degree of the scale) like a question, and then compose
another four measures (it can even be the same as before) but resolve the last
measure on the tonic. make it really easy. then you can try and make little
variations on that theme. try not to get too overwhelmed and you're allowed to
fall every now and then. that's the only way you'll learn [:)] best of luck

[fluteluversmom]

Hi, I just wanted to say that I agree with
Courtney. Also Courtney mentioned something about creating a phrase like it is
asking a question and the next one like it is an answer. That is the same thing
my daughter was just learning in band a couple of weeks ago when they had to
work on composing. Have you tried Finale.com. They have a great free software
program where you can actually play back what you have written and here it as
you compose. I know that it helped my daughter tremendously to be able to hear
what she was writing. Good Luck and keep your chin up. Kim

[flutietootie4lyfe]

I had the same exact problem heres my tips
stick to an instrument that you know well (im guessing you did flute) start with
a simple tune (quarter notes is fine) then revise and add more notes stick to an
easy key at first and dont force yourself to do it, if you all of a suddent
think of an idea right it down hope i helped a little

[embum79]

Try not to get upset about it... even if
you (and I don't mean you, specifically) can't compose, it doesn't make you a
bad musician. I consider myself a pretty decent flutist, but don't try to make
me write a song! lol That doesn't mean that you CAN'T compose.. and this was
only your first attempt! Like everything else, it will take time, and practice
practice practice. Maybe you could also find a composition coach? Not sure where
you would find someone like that.. but it's just a thought.

[Carpii]

Hey you sound full of despair I know a
nice bit of software which you can play around with
http://www.noteworthysoftware.com Its a very simple app for writing music
scores, but you can also play them back to hear what they sound like. Its very
useful!

[sarah_and_flute]

ABRSM grade 5 in TWO YEARS??!!! Don't
ever say you're bad at music while I'm around ever again [:)] [;)] [:p] I
really, really wouldn't worry about it. My first compositions were hopeless...
it's just now I have to do one for AS-level music, so with the practise it's
kind of coming together (although I'm certainly not the kind of person who
creates compositions anyone would want to listen to for fun! And that's just
it, it was your first try at composing, so it's bound to sound... well, bad.
But don't let this dishearten you, keep trying and you will eventually come up
with something that sounds decent... then positively good... then excellent...
get the picture?! [:)]

[flautist blackie]

dont give up! keep going! the fact that
you know something sounds bad tells you that you are not tone deaf! that's much
better than some of my fellow flautists!!!!!!!!!!! just wanted to mention, it
sounds like we got into music in completely opposite ways. none of my family
really appreciated music, and i didnt really want to be a musician. then i got
this xylophone at one point when i was 7, i think and started making up my own
stuff on it. this isnt very professional (worked for me), but have you ever
tried thinking up and humming a good tune THEN figuring out the notes for it? 2
years???? preservere, be patient, and the music will find you!!!!

[minsmusic]

"I have never ever composed anything
before... And tonight I tried it, just a little something to introduce me to the
compostion process. And I can now class myself as officially crap at
music....its just confirmed everything that i`ve been thinking all along, that
i`m really not talented at music at all....I really do hate myself at the
moment... that all i want to do is sleep forever. Does anyone have any .. advice
on composing." Boy was I alarmed at the passion of your misery.[:((] You know
Becky you sound like a girl I teach singing - she has a beautiful voice, much
talent and is wonderful to look at, yet she too hates her voice and gets
frustrated and wants to give up because Mariah Carey and Christine Aguilera
sings better [:0] It's called perfectionism and it's a horrible disease that
can throw you into the fit of despair - and what's worse, stunt the progress
you could be making. Two years and you're already up to grade 5?
Congratulations. That's an accomplishment you can be proud of. Do you know,
when I was in high school ... a few years ago now (hmff..) I did art for one of
my subjects. I loved art! I got an A for drawing ... 4 out of 10 for painting! I
was despondent and thought, well, painting is not for me. So I gave up. Now I
regret it. I missed out on the opportunity of improving. And you know, art is
very subjective - so is music. What one person loves the other hates, and vice
versa. My advice: don't give up. Good on you for trying. So let's keep going,
okay? Think of composing in technical terms. Do you know your theory? If not,
brush up on it. And like everyone else has said, start simple. Here are some
guidelines and suggestions to practise composing. 1. Choose an easy key you feel
comfortable playing in. On manuscript paper, write the scale ascending, one
octave. 2. Work out the tonic(1st), sub-dominant(4th), dominant(5th). 3. Build
triad chords for each of the above. 4. Decide time signature - start with 4/4
(it's easy) Divide your manuscript into 8,12,16 bars (however long you want to
practice) 5. Your notes have to lead somewhere, cause a question effect and then
an answer. 6. Start on the tonic note. A couple of bars later choose either the
dominant or subdominant and write the chord symbol above that bar. (Learning
about cadences is very beneficial.) This is where your notes are leading to. 7.
Choose whether you're going to go back to the tonic, return to the
sub-dominant, then dominant (combinations are many.) End on the tonic. Now you
have your basic structure. 8. When it comes to writing the melody, avoid large
leaps. Proceed in small steps and if you want jumps, use the 3rd or 5th. 9. To
begin, use quarter notes (crotchets) only. Decide if you want the first phrase
(to the first change of chord) to go up or down - going up creates tension,
going down releases tension. Then choose a note from your triad chord and write
it under where you've placed the chord. This is where the notes will lead to.
Follow this process until you're at the end. 10. Look over your simple piece of
music (don't even worry about how it sounds). It's now time to add
embellishments. Turn one or two quarter notes into eighth notes(quavers) using
either auxiliary or passing notes - (look these terms up in a good music
dictionary - they're online everywhere.) and change others into half
notes(minims), and perhaps a whole note (semi-breve) at the end. Now you can
play it. Don't expect brilliance the first time. Composing is a skill, just
like sight reading and aural work - it needs to be practised. The best advice,
ask your flute teacher for help. Get her to teach you about the tools of
composing. You know it's hard to build a house with just your hands. Happy
learning Happy playing Happy being [:)]

[PiccChick]

what i do-i dont really compose i ad lib
or improvise-i just play little licks that come into my head and transfer it
onto music-hey -it works for me!!![:halo:]